Viviane, If you do not understand then I must assume you have not loved a man as my wife loved me. She needed me, I needed her. It's that's simple.
By the way, dear Lady, she did not regard me as something you call, a derp. I was her husband and her lover. She was my wife and my lover. We did not live in some virtual world where every thought was constantly JW centered.
There are times when "real" life is lived.